102613tlalocenter
gearworkTenderGM: Now then...let's be Tlaloc (20298) Tlaloc: Here I am (20298) Tlaloc: In all my 2/10 glory (20298) Tlaloc: Fuck yea (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Tlaloc, the skies of Alternia have grown red and great shrieking cries arise from the forest. You can't help but feel you are forgetting something important. (20305) gearworkTenderGM: What will you do? (20298) Tlaloc: **Tlaloc rushes to obervatory and looks through telescope** (20298) Tlaloc: "What the actual fuck?! The eclipse isn't for another half a sweep!" (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Tlaloc rushs up the stairs to the temple observatory, through the open skylight you can see streaks of meteors falling...roll Lore please (20298) Tlaloc: "Unless..." (20298) Tlaloc: 4df+2 => -1,0,-1,-1,2 = (-1) (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Tlaloc examines the shape of the stars...wow this really looks familier, to bad you don't remember what this shape means. It's not like you often have reason to look up CRAZY RARE CELESTIAL EVENTS. ** (20298) Tlaloc shakes his head ** (20298) Tlaloc: "This isn't a normal cosmic phenomenon" (20298) Tlaloc: "So maybe it ixn't one at all?" ** (20298) Tlaloc runs to hive and looks through star charts ** (20298) Tlaloc: "Uh.... nope, nope, nah, FUCK... nothing. Not a single piece of info on what this could be" (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Tlaloc rushs to the temple library...it appears however that Jaguardad is up to his FELINE BULLSHIT again. Most of the charts have been ripped up and moved to a pile in the center of the room. The giant white beast seems to have decided it needed a literbox (20298) Tlaloc: "HOLY SHIT DUDE C'MON IT SMELLS LIKE FECES AND DESPAIR IN HERE" ** (20298) Tlaloc attempts to shoo him out ** (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Jaguardad mrowls and leaves...he has left a hairball in your charts, it's a bit of a mess. Jaguar Dad leaps onto the BLOODSTAINED ALTER and begins to clean himself (20298) Tlaloc: "Wait.... maybe I'm high. I could be high... maybe I'm so high that I'm imagining all of this shit" (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Seems likely, what with the APOCOLYPTIC METEOR STORM (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Lately, most of your DRUG INDUCED TRANCES have ended with visions of HORRIBLE DOOM ** (20298) Tlaloc runs back to respiteblock and trolls the first person on Trollian ** ** (20298) Tlaloc starts trolling Jossik ** (20298) Tlaloc: Alright whoever this is (20292) Jossik: GG: Hi there! (20298) Tlaloc:GT: I really don't know why I have your trolltag (20298) Tlaloc: GT: But I need to axk you one thing. Juxt one thing, and I will be out of your hair (20292) Jossik: GG: Ok shoot (20298) Tlaloc: GT: Ix the xky going apexhit right now (20292) Jossik: GG: how would - know? (20292) Jossik: GG: -'m not on Altern-a anymore (20298) Tlaloc: GT: What (20292) Jossik: GG: but - assume the sky there -s currently filling up w-th meteors (20298) Tlaloc: GT: How did you know? Are you an adult?! (20292) Jossik: GG: no (20298) Tlaloc: GT: Are you off planet? Who the fuck are you dude (20292) Jossik: GG: the first thing you do -n th-s game -s get transported off planet so you don't experience death by meteor (20298) Tlaloc: GT: What are you even talking about?! I've been watching the xkiex for xweepx and I've never noticed anything forxhadowing thix (20298) Tlaloc: Thexe meteorx weren't in the fucking xolar xyxtem a day ago (20292) Jossik: GG: Well, -t's here, and -t's happening, so let's just get started, shall we? (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Tlaloc...you notice your system clock (20298) Tlaloc: GT: Get xtarted? (20305) gearworkTenderGM: It is about 3 weeks off... (20298) Tlaloc: GT: WHAT IXn GOING ON RIGHT NOW HOLD THE HELL UP DUDE (20292) Jossik: GG: -nstall the game, do as - say, and we'll be f-ne. - prom-se. (20298) Tlaloc: GT: What game? Troll Legend of Zelda? I already have that xhit. Or are you talking about XGrub? (20292) Jossik: GG: of course -'m talking about sgrub! (20298) Tlaloc: GT: How in the hell ix that going to stop an asteroid from xlamming into my hive (20292) Jossik: GG: - just told you, -t teleports both you and your house off planet! (20292) Jossik: GG: now go! (20298) Tlaloc: GT: You're fucking crazy (20292) Jossik: GG: Ugh (20292) Jossik: GG: ok, look. (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Jossik, it seems that Tlaloc needs to be convinced that you're serious...roll Lore or Roll Trolling (20292) Jossik: ((lore)) (20292) Jossik: 4df+3 => 0,0,0,-1,3 = (2) (20292) Jossik: ((sweet)) (20298) Tlaloc: GT: You're crazy, but you did know about the xky and xhit... (20298) Tlaloc: GT:... I'm lixtening... (20305) gearworkTenderGM: You know for a fact that the Trolltec Empire takes the whole "Astrology" bullshit seriously...and he seems disoriented about time (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Perhaps you need to check his HORRORSCOPE (20292) Jossik: GG: f-rst, install the game d-sc. With it - will be able to see -nto your house and man-pulate your env-roment. - will deploy 3 machines. the f-rst w-ll have a turn wheel, the second -s long and sk-nny, and the th-rd and f-nal one is really b-g. (20298) Tlaloc: GT: Wha- forget it (20292) Jossik: GG: here's what w-ll happen. -'m gonna pop the top on the f-rst one, then you have to turn the wheel and take what comes out. (20292) Jossik: GG: tahat's when the t-mer w-ll start. ** (20298) Tlaloc pops the disk into his husktop ** (20307) No Name (enter): 02:03 (20298) Tlaloc: GT: Who even are you (20292) Jossik: ** Jossik begins installing the server application ** (20307) No Name (exit): 02:03 (20307) No Name (enter): 02:03 (20292) Jossik: GG: My name is Joss-k Katarn. (20292) Jossik: GG: who are you? (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Jossick as you install, roll notice. (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Er...Tlaloc (20298) Tlaloc: 4df+1 => 1,0,-1,1,1 = (2) (20298) Tlaloc: GT: Tlaloc Zapote (20292) Jossik: GG: n-ce to meet you. (20305) gearworkTenderGM: As you install the game...there is a strange staticy scene..for a moment you see an image of some kind of terrible celestial event. Two planets on a collision course, one purple another gold. The purple planet seems to be flying at ludicious speed (20305) gearworkTenderGM: And as quick as it appears, it disappears, the game has finished installing (20298) Tlaloc: GT: ?! (20292) Jossik: GG: what's wrong. ** (20298) Tlaloc is freaked out ** (20298) Tlaloc: GT: Nothing (20292) Jossik: GG: Are you sure? (20292) Jossik: GG: you look pretty freaked out. (20298) Tlaloc: GT: Well, the fact that you can xee me in my own hive ix pretty freakin creepy (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Tlaloc even though you're trying not to freak out your new friend, roll astrology, this celestial event PROBABLY MEANS SOMETHING (20305) gearworkTenderGM: (Remember your aspects as well) (20298) Tlaloc: (( Astrology? Is that lore?)) (20292) Jossik: ** Jossik begins deploying machines ** (20305) gearworkTenderGM: (yes lore, sorry late at night) (20298) Tlaloc: 4df+2 => 0,0,1,1,2 = (4) (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Tlaloc knows EXACTLY what this image means...and as a bonus also remembers what the HELL the sky today means (20298) Tlaloc: GT: OH MY FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOD (20305) gearworkTenderGM: The purple and gold planets colliding, this is an ancient celestial event that occured in an AGE THAT PROCEEDED YOUR OWN (20292) Jossik: GG: What's wrong? (20305) gearworkTenderGM: It marks the death of the "AGE OF WORSHIP" (20298) Tlaloc: GT: HOLD THE HELL ON I HAVE TO GRAB XOME IMPORTANT XHIT BEFORE THE WORLD ENDX OK (20292) Jossik: **Jossik tries to calm tlaloc down** (20292) Jossik: ((rollin for empathy)) (20292) Jossik: 4df+4 => -1,-1,-1,-1,4 = (0) (20305) gearworkTenderGM: And indeed, the alignment of the heavens does indicate the current AGE is about to end ** (20298) Tlaloc dashes outside to his plants and grabs some peppers, peyote and cocao pods ** (20292) Jossik: GG: dude what are you doing (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Of course, the Trolltecs believe in a BATSHIT CRAZY THEORY that the creation of the universe is a grand reoccuring cycle. Of course the duty of the TROLLTECS was to observe ritual sacrafices to PREVENT THE COMING APOCOLYPSE ** (20298) Tlaloc rushes to the royal treasury and grabs hella gold statues and jewel encrusted pieces of eight ** (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Of course there is no way the end of this age should have come already unless some SHIT FOR BRAINS has been NEGLECTING TO PERFORM PROPER RITUALS AND PARTYING INSTEAD (20292) Jossik: GG: are you ok ** (20298) Tlaloc runs back to the hive and dumps all his stuff there ** (20298) Tlaloc: GT: I'm fucking having the time of my life (20292) Jossik: GG: what are you even doing (20292) Jossik: ((can i try to calm him down again?)) ** (20298) Tlaloc runs to the door and yells at the top of his lungs ** (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Jossik (20298) Tlaloc: JAGUARDAD COME BACK (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Roll Empathy please (20292) Jossik: 4df+4 => -1,0,1,-1,4 = (3) (20298) Tlaloc: I LOVE YOU DUDE I DON'T EVEN CARE THAT YOU SMELL LIKE SHIT (20298) Tlaloc: PLEASE! (20292) Jossik: ((oh shit how do i calm him down)) (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Jossik, you manage to drop a Load Gaper in front of Tlaloc as he ran around fractically collecting his MATERIAL WEALTH (20298) Tlaloc: ! (20292) Jossik: GG: HEY! ** (20298) Tlaloc stops in his tracks ** (20305) gearworkTenderGM: As he comes to a sudden stop, you bring his computer in front of him... (20292) Jossik: GG: L-STEN! (20298) Tlaloc: GT:... Navi? ...Is that you? (20292) Jossik: GG: if you do not follow my instructions, you will die. you got that? (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Tlaloc, upoon hearing those "Magic" words you go into TUTORIAL ACCEPTANCE mode (20298) Tlaloc: GT: I'm really xcared now Navi and I don't wanna xave Trollrule right now (20292) Jossik: GG: here's what w-ll happen. -'m gonna pop the top on the f-rst one, then you have to turn the wheel and take what comes out. (20298) Tlaloc: GT:............. fine (20305) gearworkTenderGM: What's this! (20292) Jossik: GG: I'll worry about the floaty th-ng that comes out, you grab the sol-d cyl-nder. (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Jossik...could it be (20305) gearworkTenderGM: You feel the tingle of MOIRALLIGENCE creep up your spine (20292) Jossik: ((oh LORD no)) ** (20298) Tlaloc does as he says and starts working the machines ** (20292) Jossik: ** Jossik shakes his head, trying to clear his head of the images of shooshpapping that re filling his head ** (20298) Tlaloc: GT: Uh.... what do I do again? (20292) Jossik: GG: when - pop the top, you turn that wheel and grab the cylinder that falls out. -'ll deal with the floaty thing. Ok? (20292) Jossik: GG: we're gonna get through th-s. (20298) Tlaloc: GT: Xure (20292) Jossik: **jossik picks up the load gaper again and pops that top** (20292) Jossik: GG: turn! ** (20298) Tlaloc rushes to the wheel and spins that shit with all his might ** (20292) Jossik: GG: grab that cyl-nder! ** (20298) Tlaloc grabs the cylinder ** (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Jossik and Tlaloc...you need not roll anything for all this... (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Since you are SHIPPED MOROILS (20292) Jossik: GG: ok now go to the long sk-nny one (20298) Tlaloc: (( WHAAAAAAAAAT)) (20292) Jossik: ((yup)) (20292) Jossik: (( dit's too late to fight it.)) ** (20298) Tlaloc rushes to the wierd, long skinny thing and grabs it ** (20292) Jossik: (( all we can do is scream )) (20292) Jossik: GG: ok, now put the cyl-nder on the platform on the long sk-nny one. put your character sheet -n the slot. (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Tlaloc, a strange bronze colored flashing light has been following you (20292) Jossik: ((can i try to prototype sumthin)) (20305) gearworkTenderGM: You can attempt to prototype something yes (20298) Tlaloc: GT: Dude what'x thix glowy thing itx freaking me out (20292) Jossik: **jossik tosse the statue of the quetzlcoatal into the sprite** (20292) Jossik: 1d100 => 81 = (81) (20292) Jossik: ((wait forgot to call it)) (20292) Jossik: high 1d100 => 13 = (13) (20305) gearworkTenderGM: It seems that the sprite has rejected this statue, it shatters against the wall...this is INCREDIBLY BAD LUCK (20298) Tlaloc: GT: WHAT DID YOU JUXT DO (20292) Jossik: GG: it's a kernel sprite, -'m trying to prototype -t. (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Good Thing you don't GIVE A SHIT ABOUT GODS (20298) Tlaloc: GT: THAT WAX AN HEIRLOOM (20298) Tlaloc: GT: Axxhole! (20292) Jossik: GG: -t's okay, man. We're gonna get through th-s. (20292) Jossik: GG: We'll be f-ne (20298) Tlaloc: GT: I did your xhit, what now (20292) Jossik: ** jossik picks up a star chart and throws it into the kernelsprite** (20292) Jossik: high 1d100 => 72 = (72) (20292) Jossik: GG: ok so you put the character sheet in the slot? (20305) gearworkTenderGM: The sprite avoids the NON PERSONA (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Actually... (20292) Jossik: GG: it should be punched now. (20298) Tlaloc: GT: What character xheet!? (20292) Jossik: GG: your character sheet. (20292) Jossik: GG: that cyl-nder should be carved, now. ** (20298) Tlaloc puts in the character sheet ** (20298) Tlaloc: GT: I don't even know where thix came from (20292) Jossik: GG: -t doesn't matter (20292) Jossik: GG: now grab the carved cyl-nder and take -t to the last mach-ne. (20305) gearworkTenderGM: You know what...you prototyped successfully, creating "Celestialsprite" (20298) Tlaloc: (( Literally a mass of stars and lines)) ** (20298) Tlaloc transfers the cylinder to the last machine ** (20292) Jossik: **jossik grabs the statue of tezcaltipoca, his choice influenced by a voice from the ether...** (20292) Jossik: **he tosses it into the sprite** (20305) gearworkTenderGM: The final machine, set on the alter of sacrafice at the TOP OF YOUR TEMPLE , whirss to life, creating a perfect effigy of yourself, except tiny (20292) Jossik: high 1d100 => 82 = (82) (20298) Tlaloc: GT: NO NO NO, you aren't wrecking another of my xtatues (20298) Tlaloc: GT: THEXE XHITX ARE EXPENXIVE! (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Jossik protoypes successfully...CelestialTexcaltipoca sprite has been created at the last minute (20298) Tlaloc: "Oh hey another statue" (20298) Tlaloc: GT: Why ix there a tiny verxion of me dude (20292) Jossik: GG: you have to destroy -t (20292) Jossik: GG: -t's how you enter the game. (20292) Jossik: GG: -t's alr-ght, man. You can do th-s. (20298) Tlaloc: GT: 3 XTATUES DEXTROYED TODAY (20292) Jossik: GG: calm down, man. we got th-s. we can handle th-s. (20298) Tlaloc: GT: But but but... what about my throne and my gold and my xervantx and concubinex and ritual ball gamex and Jaguardad?! (20292) Jossik: GG: your house w-ll go with you. (20292) Jossik: GG: as for your lusus, - don't know (20292) Jossik: GG: mine was mudered shortly before - entered. (20298) Tlaloc: GT: ......... Can I check for him, one laxt time? (20292) Jossik: GG: be qu-ck (20305) gearworkTenderGM: (Jossik the timer reads 23 seconds) ** (20298) Tlaloc runs to the door, where a tempest now rages ** (20292) Jossik: GG: be very, very qu-ck. ** (20298) Tlaloc yells into the wind ** (20292) Jossik: GG: -'m sorry. (20298) Tlaloc: JAGUARDAD YOU ASSHOLE STOP SCARING ME (20298) Tlaloc: CMON (20292) Jossik: GG: but you need to do -t now. (20298) Tlaloc: CMON (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Tlaloc hears a loud roar...Jaguardad is out there, somewhere near (20298) Tlaloc: CMON CMON COME HERE BOY (20305) gearworkTenderGM: But you don't think he can make it to this room on time in this storm (20292) Jossik: **jossik tries to stop tlaloc from getting himself killed** ** (20298) Tlaloc starts tearing up ** (20292) Jossik: ((rollin empathy)) (20298) Tlaloc: YOU BITCH (20292) Jossik: ((again)) (20292) Jossik: 4df+4 => -1,0,1,-1,4 = (3) (20298) Tlaloc: FINE, GO DIE, I HOPE YOU FUCKING BURN UP AND GET SMUSHED AND DESTROYED (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Jossik does a REMOTE SHUSH PAP via the cursor using one of Tlalocs royal pillows, directing Tlaloc to the meteor about to crash into his house (20298) Tlaloc: ! (20292) Jossik: GG: -'m sorry. (20292) Jossik: GG: but you have to do -t now. ** (20298) Tlaloc runs to the statue and breaks it with tears streaming down his face ** (20292) Jossik: GG: - am so, so sorry. (20298) Tlaloc: DUMB ASS ASSHOLES, SEE YOU LATER (20292) Jossik: GG: hey. (20305) gearworkTenderGM: How will Tlaloc break his effigy (20298) Tlaloc: THESE SUBJECTS WERE LAME ANYWAYS ** (20298) Tlaloc makes a kind of akward, unsteady swipe at it that dashes it to the ground where it shatters, because Tlaloc is sobbing like a pussy ** (20292) Jossik: GG: there, there. (20292) Jossik: GG: shhhhhhhhhhh (20305) gearworkTenderGM: The storm howls even louder as the SACRIFICE is made...and the world around you ships (20305) gearworkTenderGM: *shifts (20298) Tlaloc: GT: FUCK YOUR XTUPID FACE YOU DICK YOU KILLED ALL MY FRIENDX (20298) Tlaloc: GT: .................thankx for xaving my life I guexx... (20292) Jossik: GG: you're welcome (20305) gearworkTenderGM: Tlaloc Zapote, the Thief of Doom has entered the Land of Alleys and Glyphs (20292) Jossik: GG: hey (20292) Jossik: GG: you're gonna be okay, alright? (20292) Jossik: GG: - promise. (20305) gearworkTenderGM: {S} Tlaloc: Enter (20298) Tlaloc: GT: Thankx...... Section heading Write the first section of your page here. Section heading Write the second section of your page here.